In my past, I had not only read of, but also heard of, essentail qualities of a good wife:
“Karyeshu Daasi;Karaneshu mantri; [A servant at tasks, a minister at work,
Rupecha lakshmi; Kshamaya dharitri; Money-goddess (Laxmi) at looks, like earth when forgiving,
Bhojyeshu mata; Sayaneshu rambha; Mother at cooking, a nymph in bed,
Shat dharmayukta kuladharmapatni” That’s one’s wife, the one capable of six roles]
When enchanting stories and the scriptures of the religious faith in which you grow up, tell you that these are the characteristics of a “Shata Dharma Yukta” Dharma Patni – wife -, one’s natural inclination is to take it seriously. So the next step is to try to BE that, and better – try to BE ALL of that.
While it takes a lifetime of hard work to accomplish all that is contained in this rather misleadingly small verse, it is interesting to note that this preoccupation might not even leave a small window when one pauses and wonders, “What are the essential qualities of a good husband?”
Well, I did. So what if I am already middle aged by the time it occurred to me that asking this question is relevant. As long as I do not ask it, and seek those qualities, I might not even get them and then there is no blaming someone else.
And, more interestingly, how would I orient my sons to be good husbands?
I believed I knew our scriptures reasonably well – well, well enough so that once I need to look up something, I would know where to look up.
My attempt to find a list of qualities of a good husband is, as of now, a search still on.