Why did I choose to drive long distances solo? I didn’t have to – I just liked the idea of driving solo. Not for arriving at a destination (I could have chosen other modes) or escaping from somewhere (I am happy as I am) – the answer is inside, I guess.
Here is my take on why I took my first solo long distance drive for approximately 12 hours with a leisurely lunch break, three short utility breaks and four stoppages for asking directions when Google Maps misdirected me.
1. Curiosity – about self: It has been 49 years under this skin of mine, but is that enough to know myself? Still and stagnant substances begin to decay, but since (I believe) I have not, I must be changing. What makes me, me? What are the limits that keep me still? What are the pushes that move me? What fears hold me? What daring drives me? A drive was just one way to find it out.
2. Folly and blindness: My solo drive would take me through a totally unknown territory of at least 400 kilometers. The car could break down, I could have been attacked. On the other hand, I just don’t know anything about my car under its bonnet. Thanks to my stupidity that blinded me, I was bolder and I just plunged. (Note to myself: one more to-do is learn motor car repairing. Look for a motor car mechanic who offers affordable course during summer vacations).
3. A pause between self-selected roles: More than what people expect from me (it’s fairly simple: I think about it, and then either I accept it and make it a part of me, or I say I can’t do it and move on), it’s what I want to do in my selected roles, that buzzes me sometimes. I need to make a bubble between those role spaces so that I can – just plainly pause, think, or energize myself, gather my wits, and a lot more. I believe the drive was one such lovely, novel bubble that I might ride once more.
4. A reality-check on responsibility: Well, when I am inside my in-between-spaces bubble, do I take a vacation from my responsibility? The best way to find it out (yet again) is to get into the bubble. I found that a long drive was indeed a good new way to affirm that while I enjoyed the high-speed ride, I was alert and responsible. I refreshed my desire to be alive and in one piece because I wanted more to happen between me and what/the ones I love.
5. As a memory-jogger on my music: For a long while now, I am not into the habit of listening to my favorite music. While I am open to musical encounters, I believe that y favorite music rides with me. I don’t need devices to hear it. 12 hours – or a good part of them – is a good chance to check on what music rides with me.
* All the pictures used here are borrowed, as I did not have time to stop and capture the beauty in camera as I drove 653 kilometers last weekend *