17 days to go: a compulsive mind-wanderer attempts to meditate

Today was day #4 with two extra minutes of meditative breathing and body-watching with the mind’s eye.

If I were not blogging about it, I might have skipped today altogether – it is 11:43 PM as I write and in the first 57 seconds I yawned twice. It’s another matter that in the remaining six minutes I did not yawn though I opened eyes and checked the clock two times. Here is what I experienced:

1. Question: If my mind was concerned about passage of time during an event, was I in the event or of it? I hope my brain has a good type of schism that allows such straddling between staying and leaving both at the same time.

Not here? Not there?

Not here? Not there?

Luckily, I was just ‘watching’, so I don’t have to find the answer – right now at least.

2. Reminiscence: I am just back from seeing an old school friend who is here to meet her parents, both of whom are very aged and very fragile. Her two elder sisters are also here. I have one more friend with me on the visit. Years between our previous meeting notwithstanding, we picked up from where we left off. It now occurs to me that it didn’t occur to anyone to pause for a picture. My heart appears full today.

3. Awareness: I realise that there were no more ‘items’ today even if there were 120 more seconds.


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