Tips to the daughter I never had … #17

Tips to my daughter #17


10 thoughts on “Tips to the daughter I never had … #17

  1. Subhash Yadav says:

    Strangely, it also brought to my mind the title song of a TV serial in the old DD days. Titled ‘Hello Jindagi’ it was hosted by Nalini Singh. It brought out different unheard and unseen dimensions of human relationships. The title song was by Gulzar, sung by Jagjit Singh.

    Hai lou zindagi, zindagi noor hai,
    Magar is pe jalne ka dastoor hai

    Adhoore se rishton mein jalte raho
    Adhuri si saanson mein palte raho
    Magar jiye jaane jaane ka dastoor hai,

    Ravayat hai ke zindagi gehna hai
    Ye heera hai, aur chat te rehna hai
    Ke lamho mein marne ka dastoor hai

    Hai lou zindagi, zindagi noor hai,
    Magar is pe jalne ka dastoor hai

    The connecting node in your message and this poetry was probably that even though you are in the forty percent tax bracket, you have to keep earning. This is where one witnesses the power of words – to evoke and bring out something from within the reader which the creator of words may not even have imagined.


    • Salute to your memory! Do you forget anything? Thanks again for bring these wonderful lyrics. I went back to those artists and shows of those times. You must be much younger – I was young myself at that time. For your age at that time, you must have been a very sensitive and perceptive kid.


  2. Subhash Yadav says:

    A well chiseled thought with the right kind of words. In the first reading, one may miss the message.
    As I understand it, An old marriage is a phase where whatever your earn, majority of it has to be given away.
    One hates the giving away, but then you have to keep earning even though whatever you earn is for others (Others = Government).
    There appear to be some implied metaphors in our social milieu with these words of ‘tax payment’ and ‘Government’.
    Tax payment = Something which is earned through hard work is being taken away from us forcefully
    Government = Undeserving lot which takes our earnings for wasting and misusing them.

    I would also like the daughter to have an alternative view where our existence comes into being because of our debts. So whatever one earns has to be paid off, necessarily, and it is for paying our debts that we have a body, mind, talents, money, strength at our disposal. If we do not do that, we miss the purpose and meaning of our existence. In such a view you are in the 100 % tax bracket forever and always !!


    • Subhash, have I told you that every post I make is linked to anticipation of your comment? It is such a reward, can’t tell you enough. Well, my sentiment at that time was that there will inevitably be irritants in any relationship, but you don’t quit because you have irritants. Perhaps one would consider why one was there in the first place, and asking that will reveal potential blessings that get cluttered by irritants. Not to say that either of them are trivial, both may be serious. But – like, one hates taxes, but doesn’t stop earning to avoid it. As you wrote, there often may be a question of recipients of your favors being undeserving. Yet, again, as you rightly said, one may be indebted to the undeserving!!! How paradoxical it is!? No surprise that the answer often is not quitting.


      • Subhash Yadav says:

        Thanks for your appreciation M’am. It makes one feel a little worthy. Otherwise all male professors, in the eyes of their respective wives are those hopeless men who could not make it in the ‘real’ world, and hence became teachers. !!
        This insight about relationships having irritants and blessings, or rather irritants mixed with blessings does not come easily. Infinite Patience and an ability to reflect on things slowly takes us to this understanding.

        I wish every mother could drill this insight down in their sons and daughters who think of quitting at the drop of a hat. All blessings are cluttered by irritants – that is the nature of reality. Understanding this takes a lifetime and maybe many life times.


        • And that, is the तप: living with blessings eclipsed by the irritants, good deeds of previous life to be able to wait until the eclipse is over, and the moment of joy is its वरदान.


          • Subhash Yadav says:

            Moments of Blessings : taking out of our limited, timely, existence to an eternal, infinite existence. A sample from your previous post :

            “I got transported to my childhood days when my mother’s father and his father chanted these prayers daily at the end of their puja. Unbeknownst to me, tears rolled down my cheeks from behind my closed eyelids. It was surreal – the large yet quiet group of the faithful, the scent of the Dhoop, echoing sound of the priest’s prayers and the light of oil lamps at the time of the dusk almost created an other-worldly atmosphere.”


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